I had the privilege of spending a heart-wrenching day at an area conference with the Ingram's.
They approach this subject with an excellent spirit and with much information that Pastor's and children's workers need to know.
I highly recommend their ministry.
Pastor Joe Roof -- Calvary Baptist, Albany NY
I became aquainted with the Ingraham's, Faith's story, and their ministry through a link on a friend's web-site. I was immediately
drawn to them because their story was so close to my own. When I contacted them, they were quick to reply, full of compassion and
understaning and even made a three hour drive to meet with my husband and I personally. Through them, I gained a sense of hope
for my own situation and also a hope that this vial behavior will be confronted and lessened in the church. I commend them for being
willing to speak up. This is not a topic that people want to confront. The Ingraham's are brave warriors for Christ and deserve our
prayers, support, and encouragement.
Two of my sisters were sexually abused throughout their growing up by our pastor father. The effects of this abuse spilled over into other
forms of abuse; emotional and physical, for the rest of my siblings and myself. These abuses continue to have a profound impact on me
today even though I am now an adult and have been in ministry for 15 years.
I believe these statistic to be true. I know of too many others whose stories match those of Faith's and my own. My husband and I worked
with troubled children for 10 years and saw these statistic to be true. In the past month, my pastor husband had to intervene on behalf of
a family where the "faithful church going" father is now in prison facing a senetence for abusing his twelve year old daughter.
The problem is that many victims have little or no voice where this abuse is concerned. I know first hand the control that an abuser has over
their victim, place that in the venue of the church and I believe it is heightened. This is going on in the church, but we are not hearing about it
because no one is speaking up about it. These become "family sins" that people are hesitant to talk about. They are also intensely personal and
not easy for a victim to expose without feeling further violated in the recounting and in the reaction of the hearers.
No, a church is not going to blantantly ignore this hideous behavior, but I believe churches are not educated in how to confront the sin.
In our family's situation, there are countless people from the church, in retrospect, kicking themsleves for not stepping up and doing
something for my sisters. They saw bizarre behaviors, but didn't know how to go about dealing with what they were seeing. No one wants
to suspect such things about a person in their church, and especially about their pastor. Sometimes it is easier to ignore or excuse the behaviors
for "closeness", than it is to dig and uncover something wicked. None of us want to "meddle" into the affairs of someone elses family.
Sometimes though, we need to do the hard thing, because it is the right thing.
How does one recognize when to step in on behalf of a child, and how do they go about that in a Biblical and Christ honoring way?
I believe that is the spirit behind what the Ingraham's want to accomplish in speaking up in church about this sin. We need to take
responsibility for protecting the children in our church, we need to speak up for those who are manipulated and controlled by abusers,
many don't have the courage, strength or opportunity to do so for themsleves. For my sisters, it took them into their adulthood before
they were able to come forth and confront our father. Some victims never come to that point. In the mean time, how many others are
being abused by this perpetrator?
Something needs to be done and I am thankful to the Ingraham's for allowing a horrific experience in Faith's life to be turned into
something the Lord can use for good in the lives of others in and outside the church.
Violet